


Irrational Fear Number One (And how to Possibly Maybe Get Rid of It)

by TimmyJaybird



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: (as always), Latinx Jason, M/M, RedFam, a little crackish, ties into Batman 16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 12:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9548189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: Jason has a naggingfearabout his hair, and it seems no matter what Roy does, it's not going away.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Batman 16 breathed life into me, and Jason now forever has an irrational fear of balding.
> 
> (Also Lian is like, 6/7. Realized it never was actually mentioned in the fic)

Roy watched, from the bathroom doorway, as Jason leaned forward, one hand planted firmly on the sink. The other was running through his hair, pulling it back to examine his hairline, as he grunted quietly.

 

“Roy…”

 

He  _ knew _ what was coming.

 

“Does my hair look thin to you?”

 

The  _ same _ question he’d been getting for a solid week. Every morning, when Jason was getting ready to shave, and stopped to look at himself in that  _ blasted mirror _ . Not that he wouldn’t hear it later on, as well- but it always started here.

 

He sighed, unfolding his arms and shaking his head as he walked in. He brushed a hand along his husband’s back, letting it slide down to the small of it, pressing where his tshirt was riding up. “Babe,” he said, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Jason’s neck, “your hair looks  _ exactly _ like it did, yesterday. And the day before. And the day before  _ that _ .” He moved up, nosed at the heavy stubble on his jaw. “Basically the same as when you wore those little hot shorts.”

 

Jason snorted, and Roy dared to let his hand slide down farther, smack his ass playfully. Jason jumped, and Roy moved past him, tugging his tank top off and leaving it on the floor, as he pulled the shower curtain back, turning on the shower.

 

“Better get to it, before I steam up that whole mirror,” Roy said, toying with the drawstring of his pajama pants. Jason glanced back at the mirror, now moving to stroke his jaw- and much to Roy’s joy, seeming to forget his fear, for the moment. “Unless you plan to rock that  _ slightly rugged dad look _ . I’m not opposed.”

 

Jason chuckled. “Last time you complained about a little  _ beard burn _ ,  cariño.”

 

“It was the good kind of complaining,” Roy retorted, before dropping his pants and stepping naked, into the shower. He tugged it shut, left Jason to give himself one more look in the mirror, before deciding he could go the day without shaving.

 

Jason left his husband to the shower, heading back into the hallway and towards Lian’s room. He rapped his knuckles against her door, calling, “Lian? You up?” He heard a muffled voice, and pushed the door open gently, found her standing in her leggings- which he had laid out the night before- but still her pajama top, tugging at her dresser.

 

Well, the drawers she could reach.

 

“What are you doing  _ princesa _ ?” Jason walked over, leaning against the dresser. “What’s wrong with the shirt I left out?”

 

“I don’t  _ feel _ like it.” She pawed through her clothes, and Jason could only chuckle. “Don’t wanna wear  _ polka dots _ .”

 

“Okay,” Jason said, hands up, realizing his fashion taste was  _ definitely _ being tested. He walked to her closet, tossing it open and pulling out a little denim button down. “How about this? It’s cold, if you’re wearing a tshirt you’d need a sweater too.”

 

Lian looked at the shirt, before she nodded. Jason pulled it off the hook, tossing it over his shoulder and walked over.

 

“Arms up,” he said, and Lian lifted her arms. Jason helped her lose the pajama top, before he got the shirt half unbuttoned, so she could tug it over her head. He got down on his knees, working on the buttons, thankfully she was standing still long enough for this. There was always precious little time to get her ready before the bus- which  _ she _ insisted on riding, so she could sit with her friends.

 

Jason was on the last button when Lian lifted her arms, and suddenly her little hands were in his hair. It had been a  _ mess _ from how he’d been tugging at it, in the bathroom earlier. He felt her tug a little, before she was giggling.

 

And he swore his blood went  _ cold _ .

 

“Lian.”

 

“Your hair looks funny.”

 

Oh god Roy had been  _ lying _ . And Jason reasoned he would. He was his  _ husband _ , after all, and he’d say anything to get Jason to calm down. But Lian? She was a kid. Kids lied, but not when it came to things like this.

 

“Oh god,” Jason groaned, letting go of Lian’s shirt and reaching up, raking his hands back through his hair. “It looks thin right? It looks  _ bad _ doesn’t it?” Lian furrowed her little brow, and Jason stood up, shaking his head. “I’m going to end up with a shitty combover before I’m  _ thirty _ .”

 

“Jayjay!” Lian scolded. “Swear jar! Or are we not telling daddy?” For once, Jason ignored Lian, pinching the bridge of his nose and feeling sick. He was going to be  _ hideous _ and Roy was going to leave him for someone with a nice, full head of hair-

 

“Is something going on in here?” Jason looked into the hallway, and Roy was standing there, hair still wet and free. He hadn’t bothered with his shirt yet, but his jeans were slung low on his hips.

 

“You  _ lied _ ,” Jason said, “my hair is  _ absolutely _ thinning!”

 

Roy sighed. “Fuckin’ Christ,” he mumbled, and Lian gasped.

 

“ _ Daddy _ !”

 

Roy clamped his mouth shut, cursing inwardly then- hoping she wouldn’t repeat that one in class. “Pumpkin, head on downstairs and make sure you have your backpack together. We’ll be down in a minute to get you some breakfast.”

 

Lian glanced between her dads, before she shrugged, heading out of her room. Roy waited until her feet were hitting the first floor, before he moved into her room, grabbed his husband by his biceps.

 

“ _ Jason Peter Todd _ ,” he started, and Jason’s eyes snapped right to his. “I told you, your hair looks fine.”

 

“Lian said it looked  _ funny _ .”

 

“Because you had it tugged in about ten different directions. If you were going some sort of  _ 80’s resurrection _ you almost had it.”

 

“No no it  _ had _ to be that it’s thinning. Oh god what if she pulled some out-  _ it won’t come back _ .” Jason pulled one arm free of Roy’s hold, reached up and covered his face with his hand. “You’re going to leave me for someone with better hair, right? I can’t blame you. God  _ anyone _ . Bruce has nice hair.”

 

“Okay, this stops  _ here _ .” Roy shoved Jason’s hand off his face, grasped his chin and held him firm- and took the fact that Jason wasn’t shoving him off that he didn’t really  _ mind _ . “First off- your hair is  _ fine _ . Second, I am not going to  _ leave you _ for anyone else- even if you  _ did _ go bald. I would, however, rub your head for good luck.” Roy let go of his chin, reached up to tussled Jason’s hair- which was still  _ thick _ and getting a little long, if Roy was honest. “And finally?  _ Bruce _ ? How about  _ no _ .”

 

Roy watched the hesitation on Jason’s face, before he cracked a subtle grin. “Too much?”

 

“Yeah, considering he’s not my  _ batdad _ in law. I mean maybe if you’d said Dick or something, it’d be a little more plausible.” Jason reached up, smacked Roy’s arm, and Roy only tugged him in, hooking an arm around his waist. “But seriously, can we  _ please _ be done with this? Your hair looks great- even if you need a cut.”

 

“Coming from Jesus over here.”

 

“My hair will bring peace to the world.” Roy tossed his head, but the movement didn’t do much since his hair was still wet. “If I cut it you’d  _ cry _ .”

 

“I’d  _ grumble _ ,” Jason corrected, as Roy reached up, now gently carding his fingers back through Jason’s hair.   
  


“Uh-huh. So we’re good? You know if Lian had thought you’d get  _ upset _ she wouldn’t have said anything.” Jason nodded, and Roy leaned in, kissed the bridge of his nose, had Jason screwing his eyes shut and almost laughing. “Great. Let’s go get her fed and off to school then.”   
  


“Okay. I do have some work to do, since we’re, you know,  _ not _ supposed to be in Gotham.” Roy let go of Jason, heading for the stairs, listening to Jason’s footsteps right behind him.

 

“Yeah. I hope that work doesn’t involve any contact with a  _ certain _ little bat brat,” Roy pointed out, heading down the stairs and hearing Lian rummaging around, in the kitchen. Impatient as ever. “I’m banning you from all contact with Damian, since this is his fault.”

 

“You know what would be great,” Jason said, as they fit the first floor. Roy glanced back. “... If Bruce went bald. Then I could let Damian know that was his future.”

 

Roy snorted. “You’ve already got that crazy hairline Ra’s has to work with.” He heard Jason  _ gasp _ , like he hadn’t thought of that, and figured it was going to be a very interesting day.

 

He just hoped this was the last  _ hair related  _ breakdown of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> I have been away from RedFam for far too long...


End file.
